‘They came in 20 minutes, towed his car, so I parked mine and went up to my room and just went to sleep’: Roommate’s boyfriend repeatedly parks in her housemate's paid parking spot, pushing the 31-year-old housemate to get his car towed

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Sep 9, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

A paid parking spot turns into a midnight seminar on boundaries, where courtesy clocks out and the tow truck does the conflict resolution nobody else would. The roommate's boyfriend treats a reserved space like a free trial, laughs at reminders, and converts someone else's $180-a-month safety net into his convenience fee. This is the ecology of shared living when policies are treated as vibes: costs drift, time evaporates, and the person who plays by the rules gets to pay for everyone's spontaneity. 

Money makes the world go round, but it can also make lines real. A paid amenity is not communal just because it is nearby. If access depends on "it's only a few hours," the bill will land on the person who has to circle the block at 1 a.m. Enforcement exists for the exact moment please stops working, using it is not escalation, it is maintenance. Courtesy is a first step, not a loop, repeating warnings teaches that the consequence is a myth.

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  • AIO for towing my roommate's boyfriend from my paid parking spot?

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  • I am 31F and I share a two bedroom apartment with a 27F roommate. Our building has a few parking spaces that are reserved for tenants.
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  • I pay an extra $180/month for because I work late shifts and don't want to have to look for a place to park on the street at 1am.
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  • When she moved in, I made it very clear that my parking space is mine and that the lease contains a rule about towing unauthorized cars.
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  • Unauthorized cars in paid for tenant spots, and she told me that she understood.
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  • RESERVED PARKING TENANTS ONLY VIOLATORS WILL BE TOWED
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  • A few weeks later her boyfriend started "borrowing" my spot without permission. I left a note and sent her a text to inform her nicely.
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  • The first time, the second time I found him while I was coming back from the store and asked him nicely to not park in the spot because it's not his.
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  • I pay for it so I'd like to use it. He laughed and said it was just a few hours. I ended up parking on the street and that caused me to get a $75 ticket.
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  • The third time was the worst, when I came home at midnight his car was already parked in my parking spot. I drove around for half an hour before finally parking on the street.
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  • Once again ended up with a $75 ticket. I texted my roommate and asked her to make things right. She replied that she was sorry but didn't offer to pay me back.
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  • She assured that it wouldn't happen again. Last Thursday, it happened again. When I go there at 1 am and saw his car, I just sat there with that awful feeling in my stomach.
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  • I took a picture of the plate, and the "Reserved" sign with my apartment number, and called the tow company that was listed in the lobby.
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  • They came in 20 minutes, towed his car, so I parked mine and went up to my room and just went to sleep.
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  • About an hour later my friend barges into my room in panic, says her boyfriend had went down and his car was gone.
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  • She yelled at me saying that I should have called them first asking to move the car and not having it towed.
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  • I said I had already called her, many many times. And she didn't want to help me, instead I got multiple parking tickets for this and she told me I was doing too much
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  • and that it's not that big of a deal. Now he has to pay $275 to get his car back. The next day she wanted me to cover the towing fee
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  • and I told her I would be more than happy to split the difference if she covered my parking tickets first and the next month's parking fee since I could not use the space.
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  • She says I am blackmailing her and I have went too far with the towing.
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  • Right now the atmosphere in our place is super awkward and tense, maybe I could have tried calling one more time but I paid for the spot and I wanted to use it.
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  • I have asked many times and she never cared to help me, did I overreact by towing her car?
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  •  Compensation starts where the receipts start: tickets, lost use, and the monthly fee outrank indignation about a predictable tow. Documentation is the unsung hero: timestamped texts, photos of plates and signage, and the posted policy turn feelings into facts. The smart ethic is proportional and boring. State the rule once clearly, document the breach, apply the posted remedy, and keep money conversations tethered to impact, not drama. If respect requires roadside assistance, it may be time to rotate roommates; leases are for compatible habits, not ongoing tutorials. In tight quarters, the clean formula wins: pay for it, use it, or ask first and accept no like an adult.

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friendship bad friend living with friends best friends friends public school 20-year-old private school friend mean girls housemate renting roommates apartment
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